How do I respond when a customer complains about the price?
Don't defend the price — respond to the person. A price complaint is almost never a request for your cost breakdown. It's an emotion wearing a number. Acknowledge what's underneath it: "It's a real pain when it comes to more than you expected, isn't it." Then hold your position warmly. You are not required to discount, and you're usually not able to — but you are able to make the person feel seen, and that changes what happens next far more reliably than any justification of your margins.
The misdiagnosis here is instant and universal: you hear the complaint as an attack on your integrity, so you defend. You explain the rent, the staff, the equipment, the expertise — everything they can't see. And every word of it, however true, lands as "you're wrong to feel what you're feeling." Now you have two problems.
The story of the steak
In my book Thriving Under Fire, a restaurant manager tells of the night a man came in with his heavily pregnant wife for their last dinner out before the baby. At the end of the meal, he demanded the manager and launched into it: the steak was too small for the price, it was a rip-off, he could have bought half a kilo of fillet for the same money.
Her usual move was defence — silently cataloguing everything customers never account for: rent, staff, power, plates, expertise. She wanted to fight the maths.
Instead, she noticed his wife: uncomfortable, embarrassed, watching the memory of their special evening being ruined. So she smiled and said: "I can see this is a special night" — and asked how they were coping with the lead-up to the baby.
He let out a long breath, as if he'd been bottling it up all evening, took his wife's hand and said, "I think I'm more stressed than my wife." They laughed. They talked. The cost of the meal was no longer the issue, and he left saying how glad he was they'd had such a good night out.
That's the APE Principle — the heart of TUF: Thriving Under Fire — doing exactly what it does. Action: the bill arrived. Perception: "this is a rip-off." Emotion: a man frightened by the biggest change of his life, expressing it through a steak. She skipped the maths and answered the emotion.
When you can't give them what they want
Here's the part that matters for your business: acknowledging the feeling doesn't mean adjusting the price. She couldn't let him off the bill — that way lies ruin. Many people I've trained work in government departments and councils where the rules can't bend at all, and some aren't even permitted to apologise for the rules. Empathy is still available. It's the one thing that's always in stock.
The move, in three parts:
Acknowledge the feeling under the number. "It comes to more than you expected — that's frustrating." Or, for a bill inflated by someone else's behaviour: "It's a real pain when your friends let you down like this, isn't it."
Offer what you genuinely can. Clarity is often enough: "I can give you a full itemised copy of the bill if that would help."
Hold the price, warmly. No discount, no defence, no lecture on your costs. If there's a light note available, use it: "Bring them back and get them to shout you next time."
In the book, that exact sequence turns a man shouting "daylight robbery" into one who leaves saying "great food, by the way." Empathy transforms the interchange even when you know you're in the right. Especially when you're in the right — because that's exactly when your instinct to defend is strongest and least useful.
FAQ
Shouldn't I explain why our prices are what they are? Only if they genuinely ask, and only after the emotion has settled. Offered as a first response, an explanation reads as "you're wrong to be upset" — and the argument doubles.
What if the customer demands a discount? Acknowledge, then hold: "I understand it's more than you wanted to pay. The price stands — and here's what I can do: [itemised bill / smaller option next time]." Something concrete but not a discount keeps goodwill without training people that complaining pays.
What if they say they can get it cheaper elsewhere? Agree cheerfully — it's usually true. "You probably can. Here's what you get with us." One sentence, no defensiveness. People comparing prices out loud are often asking to be convinced they're in the right place.
Doesn't giving in once keep the customer happy? It keeps this transaction quiet and teaches the lesson that complaining works — to them and to everyone listening. A warm, held boundary earns more long-term respect than a nervous discount.
What if the price complaint is actually fair — we made a mistake? Then fix it fast and cleanly. "You're right, that's been charged wrongly — I'll correct it now, and I'm sorry." Empathy plus a held boundary is for when the price is right. When you're wrong, the skill is a quick, excuse-free repair.
How do I stop resenting customers who complain about prices? Remember what the complaint usually is: stress, embarrassment, or fear wearing a number. The man with the steak wasn't really fighting about beef. Seeing that doesn't just help them — it takes the personal sting out of it for you.
Key takeaways
A price complaint is an emotion wearing a number. Answer the emotion.
Defending your costs, however truthfully, tells them they're wrong to feel upset.
Acknowledge, offer what you genuinely can, hold the price warmly.
Empathy works even when you're in the right — especially then.
No discount required. Empathy is the one thing that's always in stock.
Find where conflict is quietly costing you
Have the acknowledgment lines ready for the next bill dispute. Download the Emotion Acknowledgement Phrase Sheet.
This post links up to the pillar: What is the APE Principle?
John Faisandier is the founder of TUF: Thriving Under Fire and creator of the APE Principle. Since 1999 he has trained thousands of managers and frontline staff across New Zealand and Australia to handle emotionally charged situations at work. He is the author of "Thriving Under Fire: turn difficult customers into business success" and runs the Conflict Free Leadership program for managers.
