Revealed: Why Your Kindest Instinct Is the One That Burns You Out
How to Help a Team Member Who’s Falling Apart Without Fixing It for Them, Sending Them Home, or Taking It Home Yourself
“Have you got a minute? It’s personal.” If your stomach drops when you hear that, this is for you. Learn how to listen without rescuing. They work it out for themselves, and you don’t take their problems home. (You’ve probably got enough of your own already.)
Here’s what you’ll discover:
✅ Why your urge to fix it is mostly about your own discomfort, and why that's nothing to be ashamed of.
✅ How rescuing turns into resentment, and how the Drama Triangle explains why it catches good managers so often.
✅ Why “I’m so sorry to hear that” can backfire, and what to say instead so the focus stays on them.
✅ Why feelings are data, not instructions, and how naming them helps them pass faster
✅ How to respect someone’s grief or distress and still help them back to work, without being harsh or caving in.
When someone breaks down in front of you, you want it to stop. So you fix, soothe, or send them home. That isn’t kindness. It’s you escaping the heat. Your advice gets ignored, and you walk away drained and resentful. Learn the skills I’ve taught managers for 25 years to stay steady in the fire and still have something left for yourself.
Wednesday, 21 October | 12 noon NZ Time | 50 minutes, live
Wednesday, 21 October | 12 noon NZ Time | 50 minutes, live
Bring the conversation you dread most. Leave knowing how to stay with someone in their worst moment without carrying it for them.