REVEALED: WHY YOUR KINDEST INSTINCT IS THE ONE THAT BURNS YOU OUT WHEN SOMEONE FALLS APART IN FRONT OF YOU
How To Support Someone Who's Falling Apart Without Taking On Their Problem, Losing Them For The Day, Or Making It Worse
If your stomach drops when a team member says “Have you got a minute? It's personal,” this is for you. Learn to stay with them without fixing it, so they feel heard, find their own way through, and you don't carry their weight home at night.
Here’s what you’ll discover:
✅ Why your urge to fix it is mostly about your own discomfort, and why that's nothing to be ashamed of
✅ How the rescue that starts as help turns into resentment, and the Drama Triangle that explains why it happens to good managers every time
✅ Why “I'm so sorry to hear that” can make things worse, and what to say so the conversation stays about them, not you
✅ Why feelings are data, not instructions, and how naming them helps them pass faster
✅ How to fully respect someone's grief or distress AND still help them get back to work, without being harsh and without caving
When someone falls apart in front of you, everything in you wants to make it stop. You offer a solution. You send them home for the day. You say “I'm so sorry to hear that.” It feels like kindness. Mostly, it's you trying to put out the fire their feelings lit in you. Then your good advice gets ignored, and you're left drained and quietly resentful. Learn the skills I've taught managers for more than 25 years, so you can stay steady in someone's hardest moment and still have something left for your own.
Wednesday, 21 October | 12 noon NZ Time | 50 minutes, live
Wednesday, 21 October | 12 noon NZ Time | 50 minutes, live
Bring the conversation you dread most. Leave knowing how to stay with someone in their worst moment without carrying it for them.